Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Count Your Blessings

Well, I can't believe it's been more than a year since I began cancer treatment. A year ago today my hair was falling out in clumps and I was trying to keep as much of it as I could for one more day until my hair appointment. I've had a lot of little "anniversaries" lately. More than anything I can't believe it has only been a year. In many ways it feels like five.

Sorry I haven't written much lately. I got to a point where I didn't know what to write, then was battling depression and really didn't know what to write. We started this blog to keep friends and family informed on what was new with diagnosis and treatment. I had so many of you tell me how positive I was through such a trying journey that at a point I felt like I needed to be only positive. Like there was no room for negative. Because of all of you and your incredible support, that we still are in awe of, it was easy to smile and be cheerful. As you might imagine, not every day has been on the up.

Since I learned that I was cancer free I have had the most difficulty with depression. You may think that sounds crazy, but the fight finally seemed to come to a close and I let my guard down. I stopped focusing on surviving and began to focus on the thought of not being able to have children. I was still chemically imbalanced and struggling to put my life back together. I think that I'm doing much better now- finally. Poor Nick had a crazy woman on his hands for a while.

I opted out of meds for the depression because I was so tired of taking medication and I didn't want to do anything to make it more difficult to get pregnant. I needed to do something, so I started a Praise Journal. I began to write down the wonderful people and things that God has put in mine and Nick's lives, and that includes all of you. What a turn-around. It really works to count your blessings. Thank you!


Candice said...

Hi Meredi!
Been thinking about you. Wish we could get together! Hope all is going well. Have a very Happy New Year! Love you lots!!!

The Mathews Pod said...

Hi Meredith
I miss you, and have been thinking about you alot. Im still praying for you. asking God to leed your family safly down his path. I can imagion you think about babys alot and i want you to know im still here if you need me, my ofer still stands and it always will. I know we arnt the closest of friends but i love you very much.
your friend sheree